Not many people know that about us. Back when we first got together, even as recently as 6 years ago, online dating was considered fairly taboo. So this a little like coming out, in a way.
We didn’t set out to get involved in an online relationship. In fact, I was engaged to someone else at the time and, as far as I was concerned, happy and settled. We weren’t on match.com or Plenty Of Fish. Like many who meet online, we were just members of a forum and happened to get talking. Just a simple student forum, that now happens to be the biggest on the internet, with a regular and active community – we found our paths crossed and an instant spark formed. We talked, and talked… and talked some more. Without any expectations or agenda, we enjoyed each other’s company and the rest fell into place naturally.
Far from being the “old man preys on young girl” catfish style scenario that was often considered the likely outcome of any online relationship, it was the no-holds-barred open and honest connection we were able to make online that laid the foundations of a strong and honest relationship. When you can just relax and be yourself; when you can consider your responses and present your true thoughts and feelings more clearly it’s much easier to connect with someone – even without face to face, skin to skin interaction. This is, of course, a step that happens naturally.
Online dating is much more common now and people are joining dating sites younger and younger. It’s much more socially acceptable to use the internet as just another dating tool in a fast paced, hyper-connected world. The continued success of Facebook has meant that many internet forums are closing in their thousands, but what remains are uniquely focussed and specific groups where people might discuss shared interests. For people who aren’t necessarily into dating sites and who are looking to find a natural, friendship based connection, forums can be an excellent way to make friends and potentially start a relationship. Facebook, in itself, has become an even more socially accepted way for people to make love connections and more people are finding that they are able to use the internet to add that extra dimension to their social lives.
In many ways, for the tech-native generation who have grown up immersed in technology – it isn’t really that much of a leap between the internet and real life. The connection, the feelings and the relationship are just as authentic whatever the medium. The internet has simply revolutionised the way in which we are able to interact, socially, particularly for those who might be natural introverts.
There are, of course, risks to online dating. It is wise to be cautious when engaging with anyone online and if you have any doubts about their authenticity or you have been unable to see them on a webcam for any reason, it’s sensible to have a friend come along and wait nearby. But, those same risks apply to “real life” interactions too – it’s just easier to achieve online.
For more information on internet safety, visit: chemistry.com/help/safety
