When we made the decision to home educate, and ‘un-school’ our children, it wasn’t predominantly centred around learning… It was about living.
It was about stepping back, and really taking a good hard look at what REALLY matters. What is important? What is success? What is life, and what start to it do we want to offer our
children, and how do we want to lead it as a family?
Deep thinking, perhaps, but quite crucial given we spend such a short period of our lives on this earth.
The educational system in place overrides much of our free thinking swiftly from an early age before we really get a chance to know ourselves and who ‘we’ are.
Delivering us a flurry of pre-planned learning and expectations of what we must know and when, and what ‘success’ and good looks like. Often we learn, and focus our time more on how to keep ourselves on track with these expectations of what we should know, than we have time to learn to know ourselves.
Most spend an average of 12 years in the education system, and then follow on to spend another 40-50 years working, until many are ‘free’ again to retire and do as they please for the latter 10-20 years of their lives if they are fortunate to..
A sobering thought. A thought that made us ask ourselves…What if we could manifest this ‘free’ life now rather than wait until the latter part of their, and our lives.
Surely it could be possible to learn, socialise… and ultimately live, without school in this generation.
Information is at its most abundant and available, and so too, is connectivity with others.
It took hours of research to back up the initial hunch to explore home education and ‘un-schooling’.
Then an unexpected redundancy from my 10 year role, and a cancer diagnosis for my father ignited a perspective shift and action for change. Making the decision was the most anxious part. I am not classically a ‘bold’ person.
We are fairly ‘mainstream’ as a family, no big quirks, we just had ideas about a different life, and education, and wanted to give it a whirl. My eldest daughter, one of 3 (5, 3, and 1) is full of spirit and energy. She loves all aspects of nature and the outdoors, and even with all the play in pre-school she’d complain about the carpet time as it halted play, and ultimately her freedom. She was never destined to sit at a table to learn.
Relief spread over me once I handed in the de registration letter to the school. Both for actually having the gumption to commit to my niggling nag to try it (as I never imagined I’d go for it), and for stepping off a big part of life’s conveyor belt as I saw it.
From that moment, it felt like I was floating in an outer world looking back observing the rapid pace of life I had been in and accepted. Cutting ties with both a corporate career, the rush of school runs, and all the frantic speed of the day to day, we were aiming to slow down our pace a bit.
We didn’t want to be in a state of ‘busy’ every day, and the pandemic period had given us a window into a more intentional, less dicated life.
I had begun to observe around me the impacts of this rat race, noticing the stressed, the ill and the drained. Many of which I had felt.
From witnessing those working, and gaining great wealth, but lacking the time to spend it and enjoy it.
To the ever slicker marketing tactics designed and tailored with all the latest psychological knowledge, to lure people to continually want to spend and indulge, without really adding true richness to their lives as the novelty passes of the ‘new’.
Instead, the need appeared to just continue to keep working and earning to fulfil these wants and desires, stripping back time in the pursuit of more.
A constant treadmill of earning and spending, and I had been on this too without sight of how I’d ever get off. How could I?
Of course, there is no right or wrong, with very different circumstances, lives, needs and choices.
For me, I felt a realignment with what was important to me, and that was not extravagance or material things, it was time. Family and time.
It fueled my fire further to want to sustain this way of life for us as a lifestyle choice, not just a learning style choice.
I wanted us all to feel ‘free’ from others having the say over how our days and lives were spent.. Free from prescribing what our children should learn and when and being the judge of whether they were ‘ahead’, or ‘behind’, and shaping their personalities and pressures by comparing them against a unified barometer.
Free from needing permission to take holidays together when we choose without being fined, or for taking sick or rest days and losing credibility for not getting 100% attendance.
It all seemed more obscure as I looked back upon it that others ultimately were holding authority over the way we lived and how and where we spent our time, for a huge chunk of our life.
Choosing and funding this choice is not the easy route by any stretch, and our dots are definitely not joined as yet to any perfection, so we will need to keep working at how we maintain it, both to work for everyone financially and prioritise everyone’s needs.
What we learned quickly though, is how we can, and wanted to strive to need less, in order to maintain this new lifestyle we were aspiring to.
For the good of us as a family, and minimising our consumption and footprint for the greater good.
To meet and play with not just a class full of children their own age and ability, but a variety of children of all ages and races, and backgrounds. To have a childhood full of play.
To fully immerse in the world around them and soak up nature with all their senses, beyond pages in a workbook, or what’s on a screen.
We wanted to offer the girls the freedom and space to spend on their own interests and explorations, without pressure, rewards or fear.
We are learning to really appreciate all the simplicities in life, embracing the second hand and the home made, in order to allow this way of life. The time together in the now, without overthinking the tomorrow too much.
Do we have our doubts? Of course. Do we sometimes wobble for veering off piste from the norm? Yes, totally!
But do we feel totally empowered and refreshed by taking this leap of faith in our childrens ability to learn autonomously, and our chance to witness them flourish in their individuality in this environment? Absolutely!
We maintain confidence in knowing we could change course if for whatever reason it ceases to work or feel ‘right’.
Home education is currently the fastest growing form of education in the UK.
Families are seeking out and dipping their toe into a life less pre determined, more flexible and individualised.
Be that by flexi-schooling, or fully home educating, like us, many have found there is an alternative to what has been set as a standard.
It’s not the ‘better’ way, there is no such thing. But in our generation, with much more flexible working, it only seems fitting that there is more flexible schooling available too.
Allowing families more options and control over their time together, when it suits them, and what education their children receive, that is more personal than just out of the box.
Because we aren’t all the same, and that’s the beauty.
Not every child suits and thrives in a classroom, like not every adult thrives working at a desk.
It shouldn’t be controversial, bold, whacky, hippy, or any other labels alternative education gets. Nor should it be so difficult, and a battle for families with children who don’t ‘fit’ the school mold for whatever reason to find something complimentary to their needs, as educational diversity should be as common as career diversity.
I hope to see these changes evolve further, so less children feel overwhelmed or misunderstood because they aren’t meeting the bar on their educational journey.
It’s not because they don’t fit the system, it’s because it doesn’t always fit them.
The girls are happy and thriving in their education and with their friendships, and those close have been very supportive of our more alternative route.
At this moment, we’ve met a lovely big community of families who we now very much call friends.
As it stands, it’s hard to imagine life any other way.
We know it’s not ‘the norm’ and the usual path, but it’s our path, and one we feel grateful and excited to be on.
Life is fleeting, but ‘what if’s’ can remain forever.
So whatever the hunch, be bold, follow the whispers, and give it a try!
Get more Emily!
The Bare Necessitoys covers snippets of the family’s home education journey, combined with bits about eco living and keeping things simple.
